Everyone here is angry almost 24/7, and it’s terrible for my sanity. Her dad hates the fuck out of me, and all I do is try to help. I get yelled at for cleaning. I get glared at for doing the dishes. I really can’t do anything right here. It’s upsetting. I wanted to stay longer, but now I guess I have to leave as soon as possible. I must have done something fucked up in a past life or something, because I’m pretty sure I’m a good person. But alas, I am gay, and I engage in illegal activities. Therefor, I am a child of the devil? Whatever man. Fuck these bad vibes. I love her, but I do not love her family.
Her parents caught us having sex and everyone in the house is so pissed off at us. Her dad just asked me when I was leaving. I am so nice and helpful around here, and we do one bad thing and now everyone here hates me. Greaaat.
Jake, Becca, and I took two blotters of acid each and fried on Jake’s ranch while Amy, Lauren, Zack, and Eric smoked pot and drank. We picked strawberries, climbed shit, and explored the giant ass ranch all night long. It was my first time frying with Becca, and I had an amazing time.
I wrote a drunken poem for her and left it in her notes on her phone last night, and she just discovered it. She won’t let me read it because I keep threatening to delete it, but I really have no recollection of what the poem said. I remember the starting two lines, but nothing after that. Woooomp.
I realized yesterday that the cause of all of my massive panic attacks and hardcore depression and suicidal thoughts was because I have been off of my anti-depressant for about a week now, and it was only the withdrawals. With that being said, I thank everyone that helped me yesterday and talked me out of my craziness. Now that I realize it was only the withdrawal, I feel a lot better about it all. I’ll be better and back to normal in a few days. :3